Too many times, I've been guilty of over-analyzing the boys, their habits, likes and dislikes. But I just can't help it. In a snapshot, Baz is the precocious, deep-thinker, perfectionist one while Hadrien is the gregarious, ready-to-try-not-afraid-to-make-mistakes, face-your-fears kinda guy. Like most moms, I will swear by my kids' intelligence and wit.
The thing that bothers me though is that Baz has always been wary of showing off. Truth be told, he learned his ABC's at 18 months, could spell and read 3-letter words before he turned 2!. He memoriazed "Pancakes, Pancakes" by Eric Carle at 2. Yesterday, I cajoled him into reading out the ingredients from the brownie carton just to get him to practice reading (short digression: he read "chilled milk" as "child milk". BUT HE WON'T SHOW THIS TO ANYBODY ELSE!!!! I sometimes feel people don't believe me anymore when I regale them with stories about Baz. He started pre-school in January and learned to write "Baz Khan" thanks to Teacher Nikki and Teacher Claudia. But before he'd write, he'd say "I don't like anyone to see" or "please guide my hand" - even if such guidance consisted of a mere gentle tap on his elbow.
I worry that he doesn't engage with other kids. I worry that he won't do well in his entrance exams not because he doesn't have the skills but that he will refuse to demonstrate them. I worry about this and that. I worry a lot. But as if to reassure or stump me, he spent a good half-hour running and playing hide-and-seek with his cousins during a party last Saturday.
I guess I'll never stop worrying about the boys. If it's not this, it will be for another reason. So, much as I wanted to hold off writing about my fears, I figured writing it will help me see things in perspective and deal with my worries more constructively.
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